Flare & Flourish

                                                                    Mindful poetry In July, the chill runs deep,  A winter's breath, a world asleep. The stars shine bright in frosted skies, A quiet calm before sunrise. In cozy warmth, we slow our pace, Embrace the stillness, find our space. July reminds us, in the cold,  To seek the light within we hold. Follow me on twitter for updates  https://x.com/FlareflourishF

                                                       The Pain No One Sees Some pain doesn’t come with bruises or bandages. There’s no car accident, no fall, no physical injury to explain the deep ache in my tailbone or the relentless throbbing up my spine. And yet, day after day, I feel it — an invisible wound that keeps stealing parts of my life in silence. What’s even harder to explain is the discoloration — when my skin near the tailbone turns a deep shade of blue or purple as if my body is crying out through colors. There’s no impact. No trauma. No reason. Just this pain… and no real answers. The Weight of Constant Discomfort It’s more than pain. It’s disruption. I can’t sit comfortably for long. I struggle to walk without stiffness or fatigue. Lying down doesn’t bring relief — it brings pressure. I feel stuck in a body that won’t cooperate. A...

   Even   From Family  Sometimes the deepest wounds come from the people who were meant to protect us. Maybe it was the words they said… or the love they held back. Maybe it was the silence, the blame, or the way they made you feel like you were never enough. The Bible doesn’t ignore this kind of pain. Even though it doesn’t use the word “abuse,” God speaks clearly about how families should treat one another. In Colossians 3:21, we’re told: “Fathers, do not provoke your children, or they will become discouraged.” And in Ephesians 6:4, it says: “Do not exasperate your children, but raise them with love and understanding.” And if your family wasn’t that for you… it’s okay to say it. It’s okay to grieve the love you didn’t get. It’s okay to set boundaries — even with those who raised you. It’s okay to seek healing, even if others say, “But that’s just how they are.” And it’s more than okay to admit that what happened to you left marks — even if no one else sees them. Th...

We often hold onto pain, replaying moments in our heads, waiting for an apology that feels necessary to heal. The kind of apology that acknowledges the depth of the wound, not just a quick “sorry” to ease tension. The kind of apology that carries understanding, accountability, and change. But what happens when the person you’re hoping will apologize hasn’t even begun to look inward? That’s a truth I’ve had to sit with. A hard one. Because healing doesn’t happen in isolation. It’s relational. We long to be seen, heard, and understood — especially by those who hurt us. So I’ll ask you a question I had to ask myself: Has the person you’re waiting on done any of their own healing? Have they shown real curiosity about how their actions affected you? Have they tried to hold their own pain with compassion instead of lashing it out on you? If not… how can they possibly engage in your healing when they haven’t even touched their own? People who avoid their wounds often continue wounding others ...

Even in Winter One of the strangest symptoms many of us face and rarely talk about is excessive sweating, especially night sweats and unexpected sweating during cold winter days. If you’re like me, you’ve probably found yourself waking up drenched in sweat, or sweating through your clothes on a chilly day — all without even feeling warm. So, why does this happen? Let’s break it down: Dysregulated Nervous System Fibromyalgia is strongly linked to dysautonomia — a dysfunction of the autonomic nervous system. This system controls things like body temperature, blood pressure, and sweating. When it’s not working properly, your body might start sweating even when it’s not hot, or fail to regulate sweat during sleep. Hypothalamus Disruption The hypothalamus is a tiny part of the brain that helps control your body’s thermostat. In fibromyalgia, signals to and from the hypothalamus can get mixed up, leading to strange temperature shifts, hot flashes, and — yes — night sweats. Chronic Pain and S...

Truth Is Denied  Some people are born into homes where love is the anchor. Others are born into war zones wearing invisible armor. Living with a narcissistic parent is like constantly auditioning for approval that never comes. You grow up being made to feel like your feelings are “too much,” your needs are “dramatic,” and your memories — especially the painful ones , are just “made-up stories.” When you try to talk about your invisible illness, you’re met with disbelief. Not concern. Not compassion. Just denial, blame, or worse — silence... For me, it’s not just about my health... though that’s hard enough. It’s the emotional battlefield that comes with it. Having siblings who were unknowingly pitted against each other by the very person meant to nurture unity adds another layer of pain. It creates a household of competition and confusion instead of connection. Now, as adults, that damage runs deep. The bond that should be natural feels strained or completely missing. I can’t speak...

over and over again But do you know what’s even more exhausting? Proving you’re sick... It’s not just the physical pain that drains me. It’s the emotional toll of constantly needing to convince people I’m not lying, exaggerating, or being dramatic. Every appointment, every family conversation, every raised eyebrow when I say I can’t make it somewhere — it chips away at me.It’s emotional labor, and it’s heavy. ’m Tired of Explaining Myself I’m tired of having to defend why I couldn’t sleep. Why I cancel plans. Why I move slower. Why I look fine, but I’m not. I wish people could understand that this illness lives beneath my skin. You won’t always see it, but I always feel it. Sometimes I feel like I’m putting on a show — listing symptoms like a script, pulling out test results, trying to prove I’m in pain just to be believed. And if I cry? They think I’m being “too emotional.” If I don’t cry? I must be fine. It Shouldn’t Take This Much Effort to Be Believed I don’t want pity. I want resp...

Explaining fibromyalgia to someone new is one of the hardest things I have to do. Not because I’m ashamed — but because it’s exhausting having to defend something that’s invisible. When someone asks, “So what exactly is fibromyalgia?” I have to take a deep breath. How do you describe something that affects every part of your life without sounding like you’re complaining? So, I usually say something like this..“It’s a chronic illness that affects my nerves and muscles. My body constantly feels pain, stiffness, and fatigue — even if I haven’t done anything. It also affects my sleep, my memory, and sometimes even how I speak or read think clearly. I live in a body that doesn’t heal properly and constantly feels like it’s been through a storm, even when I look okay on the outside. S ometimes I get blank stares. Sometimes sympathy. And sometimes, the dreaded response: “But you look fine.” Yes — I look fine. I’ve learned how to smile through it, to hide the pain behind makeup or laughter, be...

                                                What You Should Know When you live with fibromyalgia, everything you eat can impact how you feel. It’s not just about calories or cravings — it’s about how your body responds to inflammation, energy, and pain. One topic that comes up a lot is red meat. People ask me, “Should I cut it out? Does it make my flares worse?” The answer? It’s personal — but there are some things worth knowing. Red Meat and Inflammation Red meat (especially processed or fatty cuts) can trigger inflammation in some people. Since fibromyalgia already causes widespread pain and hypersensitivity, extra inflammation from food can make flares feel heavier. This is especially true if you: Eat red meat often Have other inflammatory conditions (like arthritis) Notice pain or bloating after meals Red meat contains saturated fats and arachidonic acid, which...

                                                      Fibromyalgia and Hormones  Living with fibromyalgia already feels like a never-ending balancing act — between pain, energy, emotions, and simply getting through the day. But when you add hormones to the mix? It’s like trying to walk a tightrope during a windstorm. I’ve been getting an injection every second month to prevent pregnancy. It’s something I chose for my own reasons, but honestly, every time I get it, I feel like my body doesn’t know what to do with itself. My symptoms flare up. My emotions go from 0 to 100 in seconds. I get irritable, moody, foggy, and drained. My sleep patterns change. My anxiety creeps in louder than usual. My pain feels sharper. And it’s frustrating because I already fight hard just to function. I wish more people understood how hormones can trigger chaos in a body ...