Not a Before and After, But a Becoming

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My Body Keeps The Score, but I'm Learning To Rewrite The Story

I'll be honest with you the last few months have felt like a quiet kind of storm.

Not the loud crashing kind, but the kind that lingers. The kind that settles into your bones and makes everything feel heavier than it should.

My health hasn't been okay especially when it comes to something that's meant to be simple like eating..Somehow something so small has started to feel like climbing a mountain with no view at the top. Heavy.Complicated.Exhausting.

I saw my specialist and her words didn't land softly..My weight has dropped too quickly, if it drops more I'll be underweight and that thought sits strangely in my chest, because that was never something I thought I'd have to fear.

It's confusing. It feels like I could sit completely still, and somehow pieces of me still disappear.

The scale has become something I avoid, but also something I can't ignore. Because I need to check even when I don't want to see the number falling again, even when it feels like I'm watching myself fade in a way I can't control.

It's a strange place to be-

trying to take care of yourself, while feeling disheartened by what you see. So if your body feels like it's slipping out of your hands lately..like it's writing a story you didn't agree to.

There are days when my body aches in ways that don't translate into words.Then there are days when my mind feels just as tired as my bones. Because Fibromyalgia isn't just physical it's emotional, mental and invisible.

It's carrying something heavy with no proof in your hands to show for it. You can look "fine" on the outside, while inside you are navigating pain, exhaustion, brain fog and emotions that arrive uninvited and refuse to leave.

And sometimes that kind of loneliness is the loudest silence of all. But if you're here, reading this, let me say this gently-like a lyric you didn't know you needed.

You are not weak. You are not lost. You are not imagining this, you are surviving something that ask for strength every single day.

Fibromyalgia doesn't just live in the body it rewrites the way you experience life. It shows up in the questions you don't say out loud:

Will tomorrow be a good day?

Will my body cooperate?

Am I doing enough?

It lingers in the guilt of needing rest. In frustration of cancelling plans. In the quiet grief for the version of life you once imagined. Not visible or measurable, but deeply real. It's not "just in your head" but your mind still feels it, it still holds it and that part of you deserve softness too. You are still becoming someone strong.

https://x.com/FlareflourishF

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