My Fibro Body
Now Featuring Surprise Bruises & The Fabulous Inflatable Leg
I would love to say I wake up each morning feeling refreshed, energized, and ready to conquer the world…
but that would make me a liar and honestly I’m too tired for that level of fiction.
Instead, I wake up and discover that my body has launched yet another episode of “Guess What’s Swollen Today?” — a game no one asked for, no one enjoys, and yet fibromyalgia hands out free subscriptions to all of us.
The Bruise That Appears Out of Thin Air
Fibromyalgia has this fun party trick where I go to bed completely fine
(and by fine I mean “not currently crying”)
only to wake up with a bruise the size, shape, and emotional energy of a small country.
No injury.
No explanation.
No memory of fighting a raccoon in my sleep.
Just… blue.
And not even a normal bruise-blue.
No, no. My body doesn’t do “normal.”
It’s more like:
mythical creature white,
crime-scene yellow,
dramatic blue,
and then the bonus round: FIERY RED RASHES circling it like it’s being summoned into existence.
Honestly, my leg looks like a moody chameleon who can’t decide how to feel today.
The Sudden “Fake Leg” Experience
Then there’s the swelling.
Oh, the swelling.
You know that feeling when your leg suddenly balloons up and standing feels like you’re balancing on a prosthetic limb made of warm bread?
Because same.
My joints like to reenact “The Nutcracker” — except I’m not the nutcracker, I’m the nut being cracked.
Trying to walk is basically:
“Is this my leg?”
“Does it belong to someone else?”
“Why does it feel like an inflatable pool toy?”
“Why am I wobbling like I’m on a pirate ship?”
Fibromyalgia is the gift that keeps on giving.
The Pain That Has No Respect for Logic
Then the sharp pain hits — not gradually, not politely —
but like a toddler with a plastic sword yelling, “SURPRISE!”
Sometimes it feels like electricity.
Sometimes like a knife.
Sometimes like the universe is poking me with a very pointy finger saying:
“Hey. Hey. HEY. Remember me?”
Yes, universe. We remember.
The Flares: Because Why Hurt in One Place When You Can Hurt Everywhere?
The bruise?
The swelling?
The rashes?
The color-spectrum-of-chaos?
Yeah, those are just invitations to a full-body flare.
Because fibromyalgia doesn’t do anything halfway.
It hears “mild discomfort” and responds with,
“Oh, you wanted LEVEL 300 PAIN MODE? Bet.”
So… What Do We Do?
We cope.
We laugh.
We make sarcastic blogs because if we don’t laugh, we’ll cry,
and honestly — tears are exhausting.
We become experts at describing colors that shouldn’t exist.
We give our joints motivational speeches.
We accept that some days our limbs feel borrowed.
We take the pain, the swelling, the bruises that appear out of nowhere…
…and we still manage to show up.
Even if we’re limping.
Even if we’re swollen.
Even if our leg looks like a badly photoshopped fruit.
Because chronic illness is messy, loud, dramatic, and inconvenient —
but so are we.
And somehow, we still shine through the weird kaleidoscope of it all.
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