I Only Want Daylight

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 Depression Had Other Plans

Let’s clear something up: I don’t enjoy being sad. I don’t thrive in darkness. I want daylight. I want peace. I want my brain to calm down for five minutes without starting a full emotional TED Talk.


I used to think healing was black or white. You’re broken, then you’re fixed. Turns out depression lives in the gray and brings a suitcase.


Taylor Swift’s Daylight feels familiar because it isn’t pretending everything magically gets better. It’s about learning to see light after believing darkness was all there was.


When depression creeps in, people love to say, “Just shake it off.” I’ve tried. I shook. Depression stayed.


What actually helps? Time. Patience. Faith. Honest conversations with my husband or friends who are still standing next to me when things get heavy. Healing work that’s slow, uncomfortable, and not Instagram-worthy.


Depression can knock you down. But you don’t have to knock it out in one round. Sometimes winning looks like getting out of bed. Sometimes it’s asking for help. Sometimes it’s laughing at how ridiculous your brain can be.


Daylight doesn’t mean perfect. It means hopeful. It means still trying. And even on gray days, I remind myself: I only want daylight, and I’m not giving up until I see it.

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