Change, and the Way It Finds Me Anyway

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Change is supposed to be beautiful


That’s what people say.

A doorway. A glow-up. A fresh start.



But when I listen to Taylor Swift’s “Change,” I don’t just hear hope—I hear the quiet fear underneath it. The part no one talks about. The part that made me stop and think about myself.


Because I don’t like change.


I don’t like when food tastes different than it did yesterday.

I don’t like new clothes that don’t feel like me yet.

I don’t like shoes that haven’t learned the shape of my feet.

I don’t like new environments where the air feels unfamiliar.

I don’t like changes in medication that make my body feel like a stranger.


I don’t like the feeling of being unprepared.


Change feels loud to me, even when it’s small. It interrupts routines that took time to build. It asks me to trust something I don’t understand yet. It shows up uninvited and expects me to adapt immediately, as if comfort is something easily replaceable.



What the song made me realize is that change isn’t always about excitement. Sometimes it’s about endurance. Sometimes it’s about standing still while everything else moves, and deciding whether you can move too.


People talk about change like it’s a choice.

But often, it isn’t.

It happens to your body.

To your surroundings.

To the things you depend on to feel okay.



And when you don’t like change, that can feel overwhelming. It can feel like you’re constantly bracing yourself, waiting for the next shift, the next adjustment, the next “you’ll get used to it.”


Maybe the problem isn’t that I dislike change.

Maybe it’s that I value familiarity.

Maybe it’s that I need time—more time than others—to let new things soften and settle.


The song reminds me that change doesn’t always arrive gently. But it also doesn’t always destroy what came before. Sometimes it builds quietly, slowly, in ways you don’t notice until you look back and realize you survived something you once feared.


I still don’t like change.

I probably never will.

But maybe I can learn this:

I don’t have to love change to live through it.

I don’t have to rush acceptance.

I don’t have to pretend it’s easy.



Sometimes, the bravest thing isn’t embracing change—

it’s staying honest while it happens.


And maybe that’s a kind of change too.


https://x.com/FlareflourishF 
 

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