Reflections In The Dark:Learning From "Mirrorball"

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I’m Done Pretending I Don’t Break



Some days I swear I’m held together with nothing but adrenaline, caffeine, and old playlists I’m too scared to delete. I walk into rooms and instantly shift into whatever version of me feels safest. Softer here. Louder there. Funnier when the silence gets weird.



I become whatever the moment needs, even if it drains me dry.



People think that makes me confident.

Honestly? It just makes me exhausted.



I’ve spent years spinning for other people — reflecting back whatever light they want from me. In the daytime, it’s easy to pretend I’m solid. The world is bright, distractions are loud, and I can pass as someone who knows what she’s doing. I can glitter on command. I can be “fine.” Daylight hides a lot.



But it’s at night — when everything gets quiet and all the masks slide off — that the truth shows up.



At night, every reflection hits deeper. Every thought bounces off my walls. Every little crack glows in the dark, and suddenly I’m not some shiny, polished version of myself. I’m just a person trying not to fall apart under the weight of my own expectations.



And here’s the thing:

A mirrorball doesn’t just shine because it’s perfect.

It shines because it’s made of broken pieces.



Light — day or night — catches on the cracks.

That’s what makes it beautiful.

That’s what makes it interesting.



So why am I still trying to convince the world I’m seamless?



Trying that hard all the time is its own quiet kind of self-destruction. I keep spinning so fast for people who aren’t even looking up. I keep reflecting their moods, their needs, their projections, while ignoring my own.



And I’m done.



I’m done being the daytime version of me who’s always “good,” always glowing, always ready to make everyone else comfortable. And I’m done being the nighttime version who hides her cracks like they’re something shameful.



Both versions are me.

Both shine differently.

Both are allowed to exist.



So if you’re out there spinning yourself dizzy — being the bright, functional, morning-you and the overwhelmed, reflective, midnight-you — I hope you know this:



You don’t have to shatter to get someone’s attention.

You don’t have to break just to be believed.

You don’t need perfect light to glow.



Whether it’s 10 a.m. or 2 a.m., you’re allowed to stand still. You’re allowed to be seen in the daylight and the dark. You’re allowed to let every fractured part of you catch the light in its own time.



You don’t owe the world a performance.

You owe yourself honesty.



And that—day or night—is where the real shine comes from.

https://x.com/FlareflourishF 

 

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