Lose You To Love Me(Fibro Version)
“Lose You to Love Me”: Letting Go of Who I Was Before Fibromyalgia
There’s a line in Selena Gomez’s “Lose You to Love Me” that always hits me right in the chest:
“I needed to lose you to love me.”
At first, it sounded like a breakup song. And it is — but not just with another person.
Sometimes the deepest heartbreak is when you have to say goodbye to yourself —
or at least, the version of you that existed before the pain.
For me, that heartbreak came wrapped in the quiet cruelty of fibromyalgia.
The Body That Betrayed Me!
Before the diagnosis, there were just whispers: a little more fatigue here, a strange ache there. Things I brushed off, made excuses for. Until those whispers became shouts — and the body I once trusted became foreign, unreliable.
I tried to hold on.
To my old routines.
To being “the dependable one.”
To the person who could power through anything.
But fibromyalgia doesn’t bargain. It takes. Slowly, subtly, and then all at once.
Grieving the “Old Me”
It took me a long time to realize what I was feeling wasn’t just pain — it was grief.
Grief for the mornings that used to be easy.
Grief for the body that could run, dance, carry, move freely.
Grief for the woman who didn’t have to plan her entire life around energy levels, flares, and doctor appointments.
I was mourning me — the “me” I thought was permanent.
That’s when Selena’s lyrics started to mean something entirely different.
“In two months, you replaced us / Like it was easy…”
I watched the world keep spinning while mine slowed to a crawl. Friends moved on. Opportunities passed by. And I stayed still, learning to live inside a body that suddenly had rules I hadn’t agreed to.
Finding Love in the Ruins
It sounds strange, but in losing that old self…
I found someone softer.
Wiser.
More honest.
No, I don’t love fibromyalgia.
But I’ve learned to love the version of me that’s still here.
The version who says no without guilt.
Who prioritizes rest like it’s sacred.
Who knows her worth isn’t in her productivity.
Who has learned to live with pain — and still create joy.
“I needed to lose you to love me.”
There’s power in those words. Not because it made the loss any easier —
but because it gave it meaning.
To Anyone Else Letting Go
If you’re grieving who you used to be — I see you.
Letting go of your old self doesn’t mean giving up.
It means making room.
Room for healing. For honesty. For softness. For truth.
Selena didn’t just write a breakup song. She wrote a rebirth song.
And maybe that’s what this illness has given me —
not just pain, but permission.
To start again.
To be enough — even here. Even now.
You don’t have to love the loss.
But maybe, in time, you can love who you’re becoming.
Just like me.
Just like Selena.
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