When Your Mind and Body Both Feel Heavy

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                                                     A Story of Quiet Survival 


There are days I wake up and my body feels like it’s made of concrete. Every joint aches, every step feels like I’m dragging the weight of a hundred yesterdays behind me. My mind? Sometimes it’s just as heavy. Thoughts feel clouded. Emotions flicker like an old lightbulb—on, off, dim, gone.


I used to think it was one or the other. Either my body was tired or my mind was struggling. I never imagined they could work against each other in such cruel harmony. But they do. And they have.


Some mornings, I would open my eyes and instantly feel defeated—not because of anything I did, but because of everything I couldn’t do. I’d lie there, torn between pushing through and breaking down. And when I couldn’t push, I punished myself. I told myself I was lazy, weak, a burden.


No one tells you how loud the silence gets when you’re stuck inside yourself.


And yet—here I am. Still breathing. Still fighting, quietly, in the ways most people never see.


There’s something about chronic illness and mental health struggles that makes you feel invisible. It’s like walking through life with a cracked mirror—people only see the pieces that reflect back what they understand. But the truth is, I’ve carried strength in moments where I couldn’t even lift my head. I’ve shown up for life even when my body wanted to disappear.


And slowly, I’ve learned: healing doesn’t always look like getting better. Sometimes it’s simply learning how to live with what you carry.


I’ve started speaking to myself like I would a friend. On my worst days, I remind myself: this is hard. You’re doing the best you can. Resting isn’t quitting. Feeling isn’t weakness.


Some days, I still fall apart—and that’s okay. Because even in the falling, I’ve learned to catch myself with more kindness than before.


To anyone out there feeling the heaviness of both body and mind—I see you. You are not alone. You are not lazy. You are not broken.


You are living a life that takes more courage than most will ever understand.


And that? That makes you brave!

Follow me on twitter for updates https://x.com/FlareflourishF

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